Camp

Finally posting this after saving it in my drafts 2 weeks ago...

I came back from VCESS'11 Training Camp at Creswick 2 weeks ago. It was a great experience and met lots of amazing people. Now I feel like I've been wasting so much time doing unnecessary things (like facebook, watching dramas etc) and not learning enough. It's so interesting hearing about other people's stories, their opinions, their experiences. I feel that I should do more. But at the same time I've been feeling that I'm overloading myself with too many things at once that I might drop dead. With organising activities for VCE summer school, role of acting president and secretary of YCS and having to find sponsors and prepare things for 2011 for both YCS and VCESS, applying for exchange (which has surprisingly taken up too much of my time with having to continuously going back to uni), VCESS is coming up and I should prepare some of my lessons, working 4-5 days a week, doing a summer course (which pretty much runs the same time as VCESS so double the stress ahhh),finding more volunteer work etc. It's really shocking how much time needs to be spent on some of these things. But after typing it all up it doesn't seem like much. Maybe I'm just not used to having so many different roles at once and I've been so lazy for so long. I really want to do more with my life and be someone with substance and not another girl to have chit chat conversations of 'the weather is looking pretty good today' =.= I don't want to be another girl that anyway can 'find someone similar to me off the streets'. Although I know that is not true. I'm unique in my own way. But at times it doesn't seem enough.

I guess Cary has influenced me hugely and now I'm going to become a big fat antisocial nerd. Kill me please. JK. I mean I've always known that I shouldn't waste my time on so many dramas but I still did it since it passes time so easily and you get engrossed into it. But after seeing how studious he always is even during holidays, I know that it's actually possible to live a life that isn't completely filled with relaxing, fun and games and can learn a lot during the holiday even without the presence of tests and exams. (Just one big problem, I have such a bad memory =.=)

During the day I see clouds and it reminds me of him, during the night I see stars and it reminds me of him. Even home isn't a pleasant sanctuary as I reminisce the beautiful melodies he made on my keyboard... I wish I could hear your composition for me one... last... time...